Christmas turkey, Christmas marshmallow...

So it's the 22nd December, which is about the time each year that I think, "Oh right... Am I going to do a Christmas tree this time?" Being the non-religious type and the kind who accumulates all too much stuff during the rest of the year, I'm a big fan of a low-key Christmas time, with minimal gifts exchanged (and donations or edibles are always great) and minimal overall outlay and stress. I feel very lucky that, thanks to a like-minded family, the scenarios described in the annual "How to survive Christmas Day" articles are almost completely foreign to me.

But... I do like any excuse to be a bit silly. And to do things on the cheap. And so — here's the tree that I decorated up this evening. I bought it from a cheapo variety shop a couple of years ago for about $5, along with some mini multicoloured clothes pegs. The gnome hanging ornaments were a gift in the same year. This year, I picked up a couple of craft ribbons from the same (or similar) shop, and two packs of card pegs (that is, little mirrored tree-shaped pegs that are meant to be for hanging your Christmas cards somewhere) and a pack of glitter foam — the last because I didn't have a star for the top of the tree, and it's amazing what you can do with some foam, a pair of scissors and about sixty seconds, especially when you keep your expectations very low!

Oh, and I found this little guy.



I'm a big fan of gnomes anyway, so he's come to a good home. I think I will call him Gnoel — yes?

Cheap-arse star:



And who's that in the background? ...Yep.



On that ridiculous note... let's take it up a notch. I'm looking forward to what has become something of a Christmas tradition for me: watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians from 1964. If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing it before, at least watch this ten minute edited-down version. The film is pretty much exactly what it sounds like, and just this week was voted (presumably not for the first time) the worst Christmas movie ever made.